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Words to live by.

In a completely out-of-character move, I’m writing.  Please, don’t have a heart attack or anything drastic like that.  Just listen (tangent: what’s with the silent “t”?  I suppose “lissen” just looks funny).

The past 13 months of my life have been a roller coaster ride of various emotions and experiences.  “For want of a nail, the kingdom was lost.”  That feels like the right way to describe it.  I made a single choice a year ago, and it feels like my life has been defined by this choice since that day.  I can’t undo what I did; all I can do is live my life the right way and learn from my mistakes.

I’ve reached a point in my life where some of my family no longer has my best interests at heart.  That’s not to say that they’re being malicious towards me; it’s more like they don’t realize that what they’re doing has and will continue to hurt me.  If memory serves, there’s a cliche about a road to hell and good intentions.  Like anyone else in the world, my family members have their own ideas of what’s right and what’s best.  But they started pushing and pushing; telling me that I have to do this and that I can’t do that.  The worst offender is my parents’ views on who I’m allowed to date.

You see, my parents decided to take a lesson from Henry Ford when it comes to their approval of a potential future daughter-in-law; I can date anyone I want as long as she’s Jewish.  Now, I get where they’re coming from with this.  They’re both semi-orthodox and want to make sure that people go on believing in their brand of big, fluffy God.  I used to be in that camp right along with them but I eventually stopped having invisible friends, so I’m more concerned with making sure my potential mate shares such traits as my appreciation for dark comedy and enjoyment of Ethiopian cuisine.

So what happens when my parents find out that I’m dating a girl whose parents believe in a different invisible friend than my parents do (but who does not share the beliefs of her parents)?  They begin a six month campaign to convince/coerce/force me to break up with her; as I was still under their roof until I saved up enough money from my new job to move out, I got their lectures and questions on a regular basis.  Now, why six months?  Because that’s how long it took for them to finally break me down to the point where I broke up with her.  I dumped this amazing woman I was seeing, a woman that I had so much in common with and loved being with, just because our two sets of parents believed in different fairy tales.  Add a little murder and suicide and there’s a new treatment for Romeo and Juliet somewhere in there.

It took finally moving out and away from them, a ruined friendship or two, and a failed attempt at dating their way to finally realize this truth: Do what makes you happy.  As long as you’re not hurting anyone else by doing it, you don’t have to answer to anyone.  I wish I had a redo.  I wish I could go back and have a second chance with this girl, but that’s not how the world works.

The life I’m living now isn’t the life I was hoping to have.  My social circle is a little smaller and I find myself despising my parents a bit more than I probably should.  I feel like I gave up on the best woman I’d ever dated because it’s what other people wanted, and now I can’t really bring myself to care about trying to meet someone else.  To say that I regret breaking up with her is an understatement, but all that I can do is keep moving forward and making sure that I don’t make the same mistake twice.

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Posted by on July 31, 2012 in Uncategorized, Updates

 

Portfolio-type Thing

These are a few articles written for Cheat Code Central, demonstrating my abilities as a writer on the subject of videogames.

Co-op of War: http://www.cheatcc.com/extra/coopofwar.html

What if the RROD Had Never Struck: http://www.cheatcc.com/extra/whatif_theredringofdeathneverstruck.html

X-Men Destiny Preview: http://www.cheatcc.com/xbox360/rev/xmendestinypreview.html

 
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Posted by on August 8, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Hey, Soul Sister

I’ve been listening to this song a lot, lately.  Actually, more or less on permanent loop.  Let’s face it: despite taking a few music classes in my day, I’ve never been one to appreciate the complexity endemic to the art.  It always strikes me on the surface, the operative questions being things like “does this sound good?” and “what feeling does it provoke?”

So I’m pretty easy to manipulate, aurally.  Give me that simple melody, those plaintive vocals, the nigh-meaningless lyrics (Patrick Monahan wrote the lyrics based on what he thought Burning Man might be like, having never attended.  Its relevance is based entirely on his perception of the theory behind the event, rather than the event itself.  Actually, I think I prefer that.)

Give me the sudden switchover from ukulele to guitar for just that one bar (measure? See, this is how I know I should have paid attention in Intro to Music.)

Just give me the joy of those clapping hands, that five syllable “hey.”  Give me the camp (I’m so gangster, I’m so thug).

I don’t know why I haven’t just bought the song yet, instead of looping it on YouTube time and again, but something about knowing that, at any time, I can simply switch tabs and see the goofy dance, the earnest movements, and indulge in the video’s implied story… It’s like having a companion.

That’s what music is to me.  It’s not just someone’s ideas, someone’s words, but it’s an almost spiritual presence, an ethereal gasp of someone else’s being projected into my mind.  It’s a partner, a creative fellow who works alongside me, inspires me, sometimes annoys and derails me, but whom I welcome into my sanctum readily and warmly.

 
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Posted by on December 6, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

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First Draft

It’s done.  The first draft of the book is complete. Tentative title?

Absolute Certainty.

Okay, yeah, get the laughter out of your system.  Ass.

Gonna give this specific piece a rest for a month or so, send it out to people for reactions (if you’re interested, get in contact with me), then reread it and, if I still think it’s worthwhile, edit it into submission (har. Pun.)

Should be fun.

 
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Posted by on December 3, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

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It’s December 1st

And with that, we close out National Novel Writing Month.

This year’s attempt was a qualified success: 51,001 words, breaking the 50,000 minimum, but the story’s not yet done. Also, there were a lot of places where the writing was sub-par or stretched out in the interest of word count. I always have a hard time writing to a number instead of an idea. That’s been the case since I first started writing essays.

But it’s a success, and I plan to do some editing on it this time around.  Who knows?  Maybe it’ll even turn into something worthwhile with a little work.

 
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Posted by on December 1, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

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I apologize for not having written here in a month

As well as for the fact that I probably won’t write here for another.

It’s… Well… NaNoWriMo.  Ooh! You can follow my progress, though, at http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/138151

Also, there will be a novel description and excerpt up there as soon as I get around to the former and find one of the latter that I’m confident won’t make one puke =)

 
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Posted by on November 3, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

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I has news.

So I’ve been just terrible at writing anything here, but that’s probably not a big surprise for anyone.

Anyway…I have a job.  A real job.

That is all.

 
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Posted by on October 12, 2010 in Uncategorized

 
 
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